Oh Porter. By Porter.

Guess who's home?  It's me!  Porter!  Finally!  I tried really really really hard to come home sooner, but no one would listen to me.  First,I wouldn't talk to momma on the drive over.  Isn't she supposed to respect my wishes?  I WISHED I got to stay home.

Next, I figured if I pooped on the floor there would be no option but to send me home.  I mean what kind of good houseguest poops on the floor?  Yah, did it three times.  No go.  Still didn't get to go home.  Tried peeing on some stuff too.  Still nothing.

I tried howling at about 5:30 every morning.  I was sad, so everyone needed to hear it.  I also chose this time so that it would annoy gramma and grampa so they'd send me home.  Momma just said "Oh Porter" whenever she was told about my shenanigans.

I snuck into the kitchen all the time and slept under the office desk and spread printer ink EVERYWHERE.  My next step was to open up the cartridges and make a big mess, but gramma foiled my plan.

It was extra hard to be away from home cause this was my first stay at gramma and grampa's that momma-Impulse wasn't there.  It was really hard to know what to do, cause she always told me when I was being stupid.  It's hard not to be stupid when there's no one telling you not to do stuff.  So I decided that it was MY job to tell everyone what to do.  'Cept all there was was Gambol.  Apparently Porters aren't allowed to tell Gambols what to do.  I got in lots of trouble.

Anyways, FINALLY yesterday momma came and got me.  We went for a big drive and I got to sit on the front seat...as I should in my new position of big boss man.  Then we got home....and Turner told me I wasn't the big boss man.  Cat told me I wasn't the big boss man.  Pounce has told me MANY times that I'm not the big boss man, nor the baby daddy.  HeLa's cool with me being whoever I want.  I like HeLa.  Sorta forgot that she lived here.

Oh, I tried the howling at 5:30...momma doesn't think it's cute either.  But she made me sleep in a crate!  COME ON!

I know it's not Christmas yet, but really, how do you get cuter?  And I thought after the stories about me being bad that you might need some cute Porter to remind you all how much you love me.  :)
By Porter.

I've been elected. By Porter

Haha, thought you meant for president didn't you!  Bet you'd vote for me too huh?  No, I mean by the aussies.  The aussies elected me to talk to HeLa.  Hopefully this little ditty will get her attention.

HeLa, we are not cushions, 
we are not beds.
you are not a hat to be stuck on our heads.

HeLa we are not couches,
we are not cots,
you are not meant to sit on us lots.

Not davenports, divans, trundles or bunks.
Nor chesterfields, settees, what gives punk!

Not armchairs, benches, recliners or sofas.
C'mon Beans please find somewhere else to loaf - Ah!

HeLa, we all like you fine,
but you seem not to know,
and we're hopeful you'll learn this as you grow...

That even though we're hairy,
and kinda soft and warm,
WE ARE DOGS!  Dogs true to form!

Please stop sitting on us,
Porter, Pounce, Cat and Turner.

She also just sits on us.  We'll be all laying nice on the floor and she wanders up and plunks her butt down right on top of us adn sits there.  HOW RUDE!  (momma helped me with some of the words cause I didn't know that many words for couch and bed).

By Porter.