Just say no....HeLa! By Porter.

Well, I got all ready for company, but Astorm was rude and never showed up.  I guess that's a good thing though, she didn't sound like a very nice visitor, not sure why momma was letting her stay here.

So, like all adolescents, HeLa is keeping us on our toes and is "experimenting".  She tried to become Harry Potter...or I guess Hermoine Granger.  Or something like that, she wanted to be magical!  I'm not really sure how it works, but someone at school musta told her that eating mushrooms makes you magical (it wasn't us aussies, we are GOOD!) so she tried some at a lunch time.  Thank goodness momma saw her eating it!  Then there was some hoopla and salt and and momma was acting kinda panicked I guess cause HeLa wasn't barfing - weird cause salt makes all us aussies barf.  Then they left fast and HeLa told me after that momma went to a store and came out with a drink and poured fizzy stuff that tasted really bad down her throat.  Then she said she barfed and barfed and out came her mushroom.  She said she didn't even get to see fun things yet.  I think she was sorta disappointed.  Luckily it wasn't a kill-you mushroom, just a make-you-see-crazy-things mushroom.  But now HeLa isn't allowed outside without momma.

HeLa, HeLa, HeLa.  You can TELL it's bad just by looking at it!

In more HeLa news (maybe I should eat mushrooms so I have news about me), momma took her ear sticks out!  I'm not sure why, I was getting used to her ear sticks.  But funny thing, her ears stand up WITHOUT the sticks!  How does that work?  She said when she was little her ears were floppy like mine.  I dunno, maybe she is magic.  Then she had to have her sticks put back in after a few days cause her ears got lazy.

No sticks!

Enough about HeLa.  It's time for PORTER news!  Ummm, I don't got much, I'm a good boy, dont' rock the boat much.  Today I tried to fence fight with the neighbour's puppy while momma was cutting broom.  She got really mad and made me come in the field with the goats.  Thank goodness it's a big field so I didn't have to see the goats and most important they didn't see me.  HeLa had to put them away tonight and she said that she LICKED one of their noses!  GROSS!  Why she'd want to be so close is beyond me, but why lick a nose??  I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

OH!!  Most important news of all, and proof that maybe HeLa is good news.  Momma turned on the fire cause she was always shivery.  First the fake one in the bedroom, and then the real one in the living room.  Which was silly cause then she opened up the clear door because it was hot in here.  I thought it was perfect.  I like hot if you remember.  I'm gonna practice my shivering.

That's all from me for now.  If you have any topics you'd like me to discuss, let momma know and I'll consider it.  Mostly I like talking about me, but I might be able to widen my horizons.

By Porter.

Astorm Brewing...Brewing what? By Porter.

Hey, me again!

Thought it would be years before you saw me again hey?  Nope, here I am!

We're getting company!  I don't know if I've met them before but I think they're bringing beer maybe?  Momma says Astorm's coming.  Sometimes she says Astorm's brewing.  So, I think Astorm is brewing beer to bring when they come to our house!  If you remember corretly, I like beer.  Weird preparations for Astorm's visit though.

All week momma has been moving gravel from the big play pile into a long path so us dogs can run around back without getting our feet wet.  Not really sure why it's leading to the goats.  Why  haven't they left yet?  Maybe I need to leave a gate open.  Anyways.  Momma also spent the evening moving stuff around in the yard and putting dry grass in a garbage bag from the big round marshmallow of dry grass and then wrapping up the marshmallow with a tarp.  Yet again, for the goats.  Maybe it's a good sign she's throwing the grass in a garbage bag.  Maybe the goats will go to the garbage dump too!  Momma said it's cause it's gonna get windy and wet.  Is Astorm bringing bad weather AND beer?  I don't mind bad weather, but oh boy, HeLa is NOT a fan.  You should see when she goes outside.  She wears a sweater, a rainjacket and a hat.  She needs to grow some hair, she's sorta behind in that department, she's putting all her energy into growing ears I guess.

Her sweater, this is just house attire.

 Okay right, Astorm.  So this Astorm person seems to be causing a fuss, apparently EVERYONE is talking about her!  Seems everyone thinks she's coming to their house.  How can she be everywhere at once? 

Momma was busy after work today too.  I think she was trying to trick me and is actually planning on going somewhere cause she put me in the car...though it might have been to protect me, Turner told me later he took the goats out for a few minutes.

I was NOT going to get out of the car.  The more I thought about it, the more I think Astorm is probably not the best guest.  Pounce told me after that she's pretty sure Astorm was outside last night and kept moving stuff around outside and making Pounce bark.  Pounce is sometimes a scaredy cat so I didn't think much about it at the time.  I figured that in a crate in the car was probably pretty safe, I mean if goats can't even get me there, Astorm isn't going to find me either!  (hasn't ANYONE heard those song lyrics "sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell"...they're not good news folks!).  So then momma had to physically haul me out of my crate.  I was still not convinced.

sorry, I dunno how to make it not sideways.

I was going to see if I could figure out how to open the doors and get back in.  But I got "PORTER.  COME. HERE. NOW".  So, I figured I better listen.

Anyhoo, I need to go help momma put HeLa's sweater on, she's all shivery cause she's not wrapped up in a blanket.  Seriously, grow some hair HeLa!!

I'll check in after Astorm has visited and let you know what kinda guest she was.
By Porter.

Horror of Horns. By Porter.

Miss me?  Momma told me I could use the computer when I wanted now cause she doesn't use it as much so I thought I'd check in and let you know what's been going on the last couple years.

I think everyone knows it's been sad, so I'll gloss over that.

Fleecey

Conway

 

Impulse

Felix

Luna

 

There's been lots of changes.  Halen lives in Calgary now (does that mean he lives with Cal and Gary?  I dunno) and he's loving life.  Momma told us he's a Champion now!  That's kinda cool, but I don't know how it happened.  I mean his ears stuck up, he had a stupid long tail and was WAY BIG!  But whatever, clearly I wasn't the judge.

Soooo, le'see, Pounce is a champion too, but that makes sense, she's super adorable!  Even if she still pounces everywhere.  Wait a minute.  How come Pounce doesn't get into trouble when she goes where she's not supposed to?  She jumps over all the gates, and never ever gets yelled at!  I get yelled at all the time.  Okay, maybe not all the time, but Turner and me sometimes want the same toy and I growl.  Okay, I mean that I see Turner with a toy and then I want it so I try to take it.  And then sometimes I just growl.  Pounce also started agilities.  I'm not sure why she has to learn to be agile, as I mentioned she's a good jumper and she is also pretty twisty!  Whatever, clearly what Pounce wants, Pounce gets.

Pounce is really pouncey

So, the point of this post.

Goats.

We got Goats.

Why on EARTH did we need goats?  I think I've been pretty clear on my dislike (maybe a little bit scaredy pants) of big animals like that.  And these ones have horns, HORNS!  They could KILL ME!  Luckily momma doesn't make me move them around like she makes Turner.  But Turner says he likes it.  I think Turner's getting old and senile.  The only thing goats are good for is goat raisins.  Which brings me to a scary story.  We shall call it "Horror of Horns".

So, in the morning Pounce runs around barking waking us all up and we get put in the back so we can't say hello to the neighbour dogs, cause that is also a bit noisy.  Well, it was raining and I didn't feel like running around with HeLa (I'll get to THAT in a minute) so I was having some pre breakfast goat raisins and pushed open a gate which swung behind me.  No biggie, I know momma will find me eventually.  So I'm wandering and snacking and snacking and wand-...OMG.  Breathe Porter breathe....Oh. My. God.  There are goats.  And there's no fence between us.  I jumped, the goats jumped and ran away, probably to make a plan to kill me with no evidence.  Then momma started calling us to come in.  I tried to open the gate, but I'm not a person, so I coudln't.  She FINALLY came out to get me, after I was sitting in the rain trying to make myself invisible so the goats couldn't eat me and said I was pretty silly.  To celebrate that I was still alive I got to go in the car with her to work, because apparently I made her run late.

And it happened again tonight.  But the goats didn't run away.  Luckily it didn't take her so long to find me, and she wedged the shovel back against hte gate so I can't open it in the morning.  Sometimes my tummy takes over.

LOOKIT HOW EVIL!!!

#endgangs

 Right.  HeLa.  We got another puppy.  I give up.  This one is naked, has sticks on her ears, but luckily no tail.  They got something right with her!  I kinda love her.  Everyone kinda loves her.  Pounce is her bestie, but Turner and Cat and I all play with her lots.  She's really really busy, but that's fun.  We hang out and eat goat raisins together.  She's not scared of anything, not even the goats.  She watches them all the time.

She hangs out with Pounce too much.

You didn't think you'd get through teh whole thing and not get to see me did you?!

All scruffy, just how I like it!

Her ears have shrunk a bit since then.

 Anyways, I wanted to check in. And see if someone would come and take the goats away.  Maybe bring a boat, it's raining lots.  And a goat in a boat would be funny.

By Porter.